Sobriety: The Road to Resilience

This piece is very personal. I want to recognize that people are in recovery and getting sober is no easy task.

According to the 2022 National Survey on Drug Use and Health of full-time college students ages 18 to 22, 49.0% drank alcohol and 28.9% engaged in binge drinking within a month of the data.

NIAAA defines binge drinking as a pattern of drinking alcohol that brings blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to 0.08 percent - or 0.08 grams of alcohol per deciliter - or higher. For a typical adult, this pattern corresponds to consuming 5 or more drinks

My book titled Viva La Yves came out in June of 2022, before I even thought about sobriety.

Viva La Yves offers sensual brain food, personal accounts, and self-empowerment. Through explorations, hidden wounds can be healed and blossom into a powerful new force of your own making. Immerse yourself in my writings that have created a narrative of feminine livelihood brought to life through fantasy, reality, and extended metaphors. 

I want to give you permission to change, grow, and heal. 

My poetry collection explores the deep, freeing thoughts and I broke a mold in my community over years of growth from backlash and hidden trauma

Life has been a struggle and just because someone has a roof over their head and parents that love them doesn’t mean they don’t struggle. I'm grateful for my support, for my friends, for my family.

We all breathe the same air. We are all allowed to claim our space and feel our feelings.

I found a way to deal with my shit and found safe places to feel and express the emotions of what I was going through, and maybe I'm still going through things.

Journal, walk, find yourself a creative outlet to explore your wounds or deeper side.

Express your livelihood in ways that feel safe.

Respect others in the process and respect yourself.

I’m human and still don't necessarily know what I am doing but I have been paving a positive path and manifesting good things for myself. I've just updated my resume and my LinkedIn, and I graduate with my B.A. in Communication in less than a year. I've reached 3+ years of sobriety and have been healing myself with creative outlets, therapy, good friends, and positive influences.

New York City, March 2019

Nightlife has been a cornerstone of my life since my teenage years, profoundly shaping who I am socially today. It's where I found independence, deepened friendships over music and dance, and learned to navigate social dynamics. If you read my book there are many entries that align with nightlife.

An avid traveler, Janna Yves has a way of knowing all the ins and outs of all the places one should seek.

 From the vibrant pulse of city clubs to intimate gatherings in hidden venues, house parties, etc. each experience has contributed to my growth and understanding of people, (even if they were inebriated.)

In my teens, nightlife provided a thrilling escape—a chance to explore newfound independence and connect with people on a different level. I literally practiced the art of conversation amid beats and neon strobing lights. These early experiences taught me to navigate social settings, to read cues, and to adapt to various personalities and energies.

Downtown Orlando...Keep Reading

One morning, I woke up after attending an event at a "secret" club. It had a lingerie theme and catered mainly to very attractive swingers in the area. I had a sip of one drink at that party.

My friends were working this event as hired entertainment. I watched them go-go dance, looking as fierce as ever. Another close friend, who had also recently gone sober, delivered an amazing performance on a stage pole. We laughed, giggled, and had a great time. I stripped down to my corset and lace dance shorts, and an older lady handed me $50 in ones. I explained that I wasn't working the event, but she insisted I should just have fun and relax.

A few couples kissed at the party, but it was more of a light swingers event (like eating light cream cheese and celery sticks instead of regular cream cheese and a bagel) and wasn't focused on sex—it just leaned into a sexy theme. I realized I didn't need alcohol to have fun. Another friend who is a model was there with one of her besties, and we took cute pictures on gorgeous couches, dimly lit by chandeliers, against 3D shimmer-patterned wallpaper. Music videos played on the wall as we danced and laughed the night away.

That Night, April 2021

So I woke up with some time to myself. At this point in my life, I was uncertain about my direction, and it weighed heavily on me. I had never been in a relationship, never dated, and had only observed social cues from the outside. I gravitated towards safe trouble—I enjoyed going to places I liked, reading the room, and having a few drinks. I started drinking many years before I turned 21. It was a part of me. Though I had many drunken nights, they were never outrageous, and my personality didn't change much when I drank. But I felt a need for change.

Weeks went by with not drinking/imbibing...

I noticed those around me craved alcohol; some couldn't go a day without it. People turned to alcohol when they needed to feel something or take the edge off. My own cravings stemmed more from societal norms and a fear of standing out if I didn't drink. That little buzz excited me too. I also wanted to save money. And I wanted to change, to grow. I decided to quit cold turkey, including giving up vaping and marijuana.

The first night out without alcohol was that night after the sexy party. It was my friend's college graduation party. It felt weird but no one judged me. I knew I needed to hold a drink and that's half of drinking.

I can recall another group setting where I shared that I wasn't drinking, and the immature and insensitive reactions I faced that night... I'm fortunate to have the strength to say no and still enjoy life fully.

Learning to love the skin I'm in has been a journey of overcoming obstacles and appreciating what my body can achieve. From hiking in scorching heat to swimming a mile in under an hour, I've realized my body's capabilities and continue to strengthen myself physically.

While I'm not an expert on sobriety even though I am three years into it and have sought therapy for other trauma, I'm open to discussion and happy to answer questions. It's important to seek professional advice for guidance. I'm not perfect; I still have moments of panic and self-doubt, but I'm always learning and growing.

My job and sobriety sometimes make others uncomfortable, but I've learned to take up space confidently. I've both strengthened and strained relationships along the way, but I'm grateful for the support I have. Even though social drinking used to be a way for me to connect, these days, I find relief in simple pleasures like an occasional iced coffee, petting puppies, setting time aside to binge watch tv, and long showers.

Over time, I've become less dependent on socializing and more focused on personal growth. I still am social but find that I'm not seeking that sort of need for "safe trouble."

In April, as I celebrated three years of sobriety, I received a breakup text—a poignant reminder of life's unexpected turns.

Overall, this journey has empowered me to take control of my environment, learn valuable lessons, and conduct what I like to call, life audits. I want to encourage everyone to embrace change, pursue growth, and find healing. It's okay not to have all the answers—I'm still navigating my path with uncertainty. But I'm grateful, over and over, for the support of friends, family, and the strength I've discovered within myself.